Why does normal have to be the same for everyone?

 

Disclaimer: this article or post does not seek to discredit any institution dealing with one of the issues mentioned in it, neither does it seek to discredit any of their practitioners; this article merely seeks to be and is an expression of this writer’s personal beliefs, with no intention of causing a grievance to its readers or anyone else herewith.

While the above headline or title might sound like the ranting of an angry teenager, the truth is, it is something relevant to all age groups, that is to say, it cuts across all barriers, at least in my opinion.

Now, what do I really mean by this? Simply put, what this means or stands for is something that has been playing around in my mind for along time, several years in fact, that is to say, it stands for a simple thought which expresses itself as an indignation against the apparent necessity for standardization of a person’s behavior, state of being and/mind and so on, thereby confining that individual to a certain ‘acceptable’ standard, that is to say, ‘acceptable’ for the masses at large, though it may not necessarily apply to that individual entirely.

For those of you who are still bearing with me, and have managed to understand or comprehend even a fragment of what I have been going on about above, I’m sure all you must have caught on that I am referring to the perception of what constitutes acceptability and what does not, in this world of ours today.

It is genuinely depressing to see bright young people, or even experienced, talented adults, or individuals, simply put an end to their existence or retreat into a rather neurotic, abyss like inner grey world, due to their rather tortured conscience, which can bear the agony of not being deemed normal or acceptable anymore.

Indeed, even with the resurgence or simply growth of awareness about something as critical as mental health, such issues still persist, because, with some exceptions, most institutions often attempt to convert an ‘afflicted’ or ‘abnormal’ person back into a ‘normal, healthy’ individual, with each of these terms being entirely subjective and circumstantial.

According to existing standards, the following are deemed to be the acceptable characteristics generally found in a ‘normal person’: -

i)              An inclination to be always want to be surrounded by people.

ii)           To always be positive

iii)         Should have certain traits and inclinations confirming to their age, gender etc.

Sadly, what most don’t realize is that the above traits are actually or prove to be quite toxic in the long run, when they are expected to be displayed on a constant basis or expected from the person implicitly, though the person may prefer to express themselves in their own manner, which may not necessarily confirm to standard behavior.

For instance, a person may genuinely enjoy solitude and the peace and quiet of their own company along with their own set of interests as opposed to noise, and large crowds of people with common interests, which may not or do not have to necessarily confirm, yet again, to acceptable standards. Or for that matter, say for one person, health and fitness may not necessarily be linked to their appearance but something far more intrinsic, that is to say the ability to do or perform their daily tasks without facing any bodily hurdles and so on.

Yet other instances happen to be when an adult is judged for preferring to sleep off the effects of a long week, than ‘go out’ on a ‘Friday night’, or for choosing a car over a bike (the latter being deemed to be ‘cooler’), or for preferring chocolates or sweets when they should be on a ‘diet’ and lastly but never the least for there are scores of such issues, being denigrated for being or expressing who they are at their very core, instead of cherished, loved and accepted for it.

Therein lies my question, my dear readers, who have borne with me so long, that is, ‘why should or why does normal have to be the same for everyone?

For a normal person can also be one who: -

i)              prefers solitude and prefer communicating with very few people

ii)           has mood-swings

iii)         experiences sadness, blankness, etc (because it is healthy to let negative emotions run their course as well)

iv)         accepts their dark side or shadow side, which consists of traits which may not necessarily bring out their best selves, but are still very much a part of them, and therefore something which makes them whole and complete as human beings, because a person is composed of both light and darkness, and extremes of either can prove to be truly detrimental to the person, and therefore, a healthy expression of both is quite natural.      

While my last point may sound a little inane, the simple truth can be demonstrated with a simple example, the example being that too much of sunlight and thereby exposure to UV radiation affects our skin, potentially setting the stage for skin cancer and kills plants and animals, whereas too much of darkness weakens one’s vision and interferes with the healthy functioning of our bodies and so on.

Therefore, a healthy expression of both our positive and negative sides, and our personalities, is what leads to true inner peace and happiness, for everyone is free to choose their own version of what constitutes normal, such as one can prize health but still love occasionally consuming fast food, one can prize solitude yet enjoy the company or sound of people when inclined, one can prize silence yet choose eloquence whenever necessary, because after all, with the world being a genuinely diverse place filled with myriad shades of people, is it acceptable to standardize what constitutes normal and what does not? I think not, amen.

Disclaimer: this article or post does not seek to discredit any institution dealing with one of the issues mentioned in it, neither does it seek to discredit any of their practitioners; this article merely seeks to be and is an expression of this writer’s personal beliefs, with no intention of causing a grievance to its readers or anyone else herewith.